Wow! I’m exhausted. Today was a very busy day for me. I did what I usually do. I work in an office type setting. I won’t say exactly what I do, because I’m afraid that if I get into too much detail that it will be obvious where I work. I guess I’m paranoid that someone I work with will find this post and know it’s me and then suddenly they will know a little too much about me.
But anyway, today I was trained to do something else on top of what I already do. What I already do is easy enough that I end up finishing within an hour and then I’m left with about 2 hours with not a whole lot to do. So my boss wanted me to train for something else. Well this something else is working with the public. Yikes! At first when she asked me to do this I didn’t know what all of it involved, so I said I would do it. But now that I know what it involves I have to be honest, I’m pretty damn scared.
I trained today, and I’ll be training several more times before I do it on my own, without any help. However, the thought of working with people just freaks me out. The other job I do, I usually sit in a room on a computer by myself and I really don’t have to talk to anyone but a few people that I work with. I wasn’t working with the public at all. Now I am.
I don’t know. Maybe this is a blessing in MAJOR disguise. Like, maybe this is preparing me, and helping me gain people skills. Maybe it will be really good for me. I was nervous talking to people today, but I did my job, and I don’t think I was that bad. I think I did a pretty good job, for it being my first time. And I know practice will help me gain more confidence.
I hope I can stop feeling anxious about this though. I want to learn new things, and gain experience. I don’t want to let fear stop me from doing things. This volunteer job is probably one of the best things that’s happened to me since I first started dealing with mental health problems. It’s definitely a step in the right direction. One step at a time though.